The Absurdist Fruit And Cheese Platter Cupcakes Recipes

Steps:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Prep a standard muffin tin with paper liners or mist with oil spray. Set aside.
• Puree the beans and 1 cup water in a high-powdered blender. Add the cake mix and dates to blender and combine until smooth, 1 minute.
• Stir in the nuts by hand, if using. Pour the batter into the prepared muffin tins about three quarters of the way high and bake for about 18 to 24 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. (See Cook's Note.) Let cool completely.
• To finish: Top each cupcake with 1 to 2 tablespoons frosting.

Steps:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and line a 12-cup standard muffin tin with paper cupcake liners.
• Put the butter, cocoa powder and chocolate in a large bowl. Pour the boiling water over and let stand 5 minutes. Whisk until smooth, and then whisk in the sugar, vanilla and eggs. Whisk in the flour, baking powder, salt and baking soda until just combined. Stir in the walnuts. Divide the batter among the prepared liners so they are about three-quarters full.
• Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with moist crumbs, 22 to 24 minutes. Cool in the tins for 5 minutes, then remove and cool completely on a wire rack.
• Beat the cream cheese and butter on medium speed, in a large bowl, with an electric mixer until fluffy, about 2 minutes. Beat in the vanilla and lemon juice. Adjust the speed to low speed and gradually add the confectioners' sugar and beat until well combined. Frost the tops of the cupcakes and sprinkle with chopped walnuts.

Steps:

• Line a wooden board or flat dish with fig leaves and artfully arrange the goat cheese, grapes, preserves and crackers on top.
• Place the orange zest and orange juice in a medium (10-inch) heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven, such as Le Creuset. Add the sugar, vanilla bean, and figs to the pot. Cover and bring to a full boil over medium heat. (Don't worry; it may look dry.) Stir the mixture and boil hard for 1 minute, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Lower the heat, and cook uncovered at a full simmer for 50 minutes to 1 hour 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. You want the little bubbles to be throughout the pot, not just at the edges. After 45 minutes, refrigerate a small amount of the liquid to see if it becomes syrupy. It should be like a soft fruit preserve. Keep cooking just until the liquid starts to gel when cold. If the liquid is too firm, add a little orange juice or water, cook for a minute, and test it again until it's right. Depending on how ripe the figs are, they will probably keep their shape, but it's fine if they don't. Discard the vanilla bean and serve or refrigerate.
• Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line two sheet pans with parchment paper.
• Place the oats, flour, brown sugar, and kosher salt in a food processor fitted with the steel blade and pulse for 45 to 60 seconds, until the oats are coarsely ground. Add the butter and pulse 15 to 20 times, until the butter is the size of peas.
• Dissolve the baking soda in the lukewarm water and drizzle it over the crumbs in the food processor. Pulse until the mixture is evenly moistened and can be pressed into balls that will hold together.
• With a medium (1 3/4-inch) ice cream scoop or two spoons, scoop the dough into your hands and roll them into round balls. Evenly space 12 balls on the prepared sheet pans. Flour the bottom of a flat-bottomed 3-inch-diameter drinking glass and use it to flatten each cracker to 1/8 inch thick and about 3 inches in diameter. The crackers will not be perfectly round. If there is a lot of flour on the crackers, turn them over with a metal spatula. Sprinkle with the fleur de sel and bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until golden brown on the edges. Serve warm or at room temperature.
• "Cooking for Jeffrey" by Ina Garten © Clarkson Potter 2016. Provided courtesy of Ina Garten. All rights reserved.

Steps:

• On large serving platter, arrange cheeses in center. Cover; let stand at room temperature about 30 minutes.
• Arrange fresh fruit in groups around cheeses. Sprinkle dried apricots and cherries over cheeses and fruit. Tuck rosemary sprigs among fruit.
• To serve, provide cheese planes for harder cheeses and cheese spreaders for soft cheeses. If desired, serve cheeses and fruit with crackers.

Steps:

• Choose a large round or rectangular tray, along with a small round cutting board or ceramic tile. Set the cutting board or tile on the tray for the cheese wedges. Allow cheese to stand at room temperature 30 minutes.
• Quarter the pineapple, cut out the fruit and cut into wedges. Use the rind as a "basket" on the tray for the fruit wedges. Place the melon cubes on the tray on bay leaves. Arrange grape clusters on the tray.